The Whole Enchilada
by LuvzAfunEthing
Summary: My take on episode one of season five. Please RR. First-timer here. This picks up right where Raincoats and Recipes left off. Oh, ASP inspired me so.
1. Teaser

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own or have the rights to any of the characters, places, or past events discussed in this piece of humble fiction. That honor is officially that of the talented and ingenious Amy Sherman-Palladino, whom created a finale so fabulous that it made us all want to jump up and down and do high kicks.  
  
Episode 1 of Season Five---Title: **The Whole Enchilada **

**Teaser**  
  
OUTSIDE THE GILMORE HOUSE  
  
_Rory is kneeling on the ground, her face buried in her hands, crying her eyes out. Lorelai slowly walks down each of the front steps and walks across the yard a few feet to meet Rory. She bends down and puts her arms around her daughter. Rory turns her face toward her mother and cries into her shoulder.  
_  
Lorelai: (_with tears in her eyes, resting her chin on Rory's head, she whispers_) It's okay, honey... Everything will be okay...  
  
_Rory cries harder_.  
  
Lorelai: Come on...Let's go inside.  
  
_Lorelai practically pulls Rory up as she rises. She and Rory walk into the house with their arms around each other.  
_  
CUT TO INSIDE OF GILMORE HOUSE

_The two walk toward the couch and sit down. Lorelai puts her hands onto either side of Rory's face, and then moves them to tuck Rory's hair behind her ears. Lorelai's expression is one of sadness and empathy.  
_  
Rory: (_crying_) Mom...I'm so sorry...  
  
Lorelai: (_putting her arm around Rory_) Shhh...We don't have to talk about this now...  
  
Rory: I don't know why I...I don't know what I was thinking...  
  
Lorelai: Sweetie...sometimes our hearts move so quickly, our heads just can't seem to catch up...but I promise...everything will be okay...  
  
_Lorelai reaches for the phone on the coffee table. She dials a number.  
_  
Lorelai: Hey...Michel...its Lorelai. I can't make it back to the inn tonight....Uh...something came up. Make sure all the guests are okay. I'll be there early tomorrow. If you need me, I'll be at home. Bye.  
  
_She beeps the phone off and tosses it on the couch.  
_  
Fade to black. Opening credits.  
  
**[Read on my friends...four acts to go! I promise they're not as heavy as this one.]**


	2. Act 1: Egg Butts and Mistakes

**(The afore-mentioned disclaimer applies to this act as well.)  
  
Act One-Egg Butts and Mistakes  
  
**DRAGONFLY INN FRONT HALL

_Luke walks down the stairs, with Kirk following closely behind_.  
  
Luke: Just forget about it, Kirk!  
  
Kirk: I could raise money to have a statue erected in your honor.  
  
Luke: No statue!  
  
Kirk: Then a parade. We could have a parade.  
  
Luke: No parade either!  
  
_They both are now standing at the bottom of the stairs, facing each other.  
  
_Kirk: Okay, nothing outlandish. How 'bout I send you a fruit basket?  
  
Luke: Right, cuz nothin says 'thanks for wrestlin me to the ground' like a bunch of apples and bananas.  
  
_Just then Lorelai walks in the front door. Luke and Kirk both turn to see her_.  
  
Lorelai: Wow, bananas...so dirty...so early in the morning...Luke, I'm impressed.  
  
_Luke gives her a half smile, and Kirk steps closer to her_.  
  
Kirk: Lorelai--Did you know that Luke is my hero?  
  
Luke: Kirk!  
  
Kirk: I have night terrors. Last night was a doozy, but Luke here saved the day. He stopped me from jumping head first into the lake.  
  
Lorelai: (_turning toward Luke and smiling_) Gee, Luke, we should pin a medal on you.  
  
Kirk: (_excitedly_) A medal, yes!  
  
Luke: (_pointing at Lorelai_) Don't give him any ideas. (_turning to face Kirk_) Look, Kirk, here's what you can do. Never mention any of this again. Act like it _never happened_. _That's_ what I want.  
  
Kirk: Well, okay. (_sincerely, placing his hand on Luke's shoulder_) But every third Saturday of the month, will be 'Luke Danes Day' in my heart.  
  
Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Oh, goody.  
  
_Kirk walks away, leaving Luke and Lorelai by themselves in the front hallway_.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) So, you really saved him, huh?  
  
Luke: (_sarcastically_) Yeah, it was my finest hour. (_his voice changes to that of concern_) So, um, you didn't come back last night.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking down_) Oh, yeah, sorry. Rory had a bad night, and I decided to stay home.  
  
Luke: Is she all right?  
  
Lorelai: (_with some uncertainty_) Yeah, uh, she will be.  
  
Luke: (_shyly_) So, about last night...  
  
_Suddenly, Sookie comes running into the front hallway.  
  
_Sookie: (_grabbing Lorelai's arm_) Thank God you're here! We have an egg emergency.  
  
Lorelai: An egg emergency?  
  
Sookie: Yes, we have no eggs.  
  
Lorelai: Yes we do. Sookie, we bought enough eggs to make the world's largest omelet.  
  
Sookie: I know, but someone cracked them all.  
  
Lorelai: (_confused_) Who? Who cracked them all?  
  
Sookie: (_embarrassed_) Well, me.  
  
Lorelai: How?  
  
Sookie: I put the egg crates on the floor, spilled some oil, must have slipped on it...and...well...landed on the eggs.  
  
Lorelai: Do the _Stooges_ know about you? Cuz, seriously, if you could pull off a mean eye-gauging, I think you could be the fourth one.  
  
Sookie: (_turning around_) But, hey, look, at least, I didn't get any egg on my butt.  
  
Lorelai: How bout that? (_half smiling_) Look, Luke, there's no egg on her butt!  
  
Luke: (_looking away very deliberately_) I'm not looking at her butt!  
  
Lorelai: You're missin out cuz, hey, 'Baby got back'!  
  
Sookie: (_giggling_) Oh, stop!...(_face turning serious_) So, what are we gonna do about the eggs?  
  
Lorelai: Eggs, yes, okay. Send the staff to get them.  
  
Sookie: Michel scared six of them off, remember. I need Derek here to help me.  
  
Luke: (_holding his hands up_) I'll go get the eggs.  
  
Sookie: Oh, you're such a doll!  
  
Lorelai: Yes, Luke, we really should have a statue made in your honor.  
  
Luke: _Again_ with the statue! (_Lorelai and Sookie stare at each other in confusion_.) I'll be back soon.  
  
CUT TO DRAGONFLY KITCHEN

_Lorelai and Sookie walk through the door.  
  
_Lorelai: Wow, who egged our kitchen floor? Because, I gotta tell ya, they totally lack originality. Eww...what a mess!  
  
Sookie: I know...Hey, Derek, would you mind cleaning that up?  
  
_Sookie turns toward Derek, a member of the kitchen_ staff.  
  
Derek: Uh, sure. No problem.  
  
Sookie: Thanks. I owe you...(_turns toward Lorelai_) So, why did you disappear last night? Michel said something came up, and you had to stay home.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah...Rory needed me. She was upset, so I decided it would be better to just stay there with her.  
  
Sookie: (_concerned_) What happened? Is she okay?  
  
Lorelai: She's all right...but, um...I really shouldn't get into all the details. (_touches Sookie's arm_) I'm sorry, Sook, its just kinda...  
  
Sookie: Personal?  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, sorry I can't share.  
  
Sookie: (_understandingly_) Quite alright. Mother-daughter confidentiality. Can't betray. Top secret. Totally understand.  
  
Lorelai: Thanks.  
  
Sookie: Here, Derek. I'll give you a hand.  
  
Lorelai: (_walking toward the kitchen door_) Well, I'd love to stay and help...oh, who am I kidding? You couldn't pay me to clean up those slimy balls of sunshine.  
  
_Sookie and Derek start to slip on the eggs_.  
  
Sookie: (_starting to fall_) Woah, Derek!  
  
Derek: (_losing his balance and falling_) Ahh! Woah!  
  
Lorelai: (_talking loud enough so they can here, but mostly to herself_) You know, this comedy inn thing could actually work for us. I'm gonna talk to Michel about wearing a red nose and squirting seltzer at the guests. (_walks out of the kitchen_)  
  
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE

_There is a knock at the door.  
  
_Rory: (OS) I'll be there in a minute. (_Walks toward the door and opens it_.) Dean (_looks at him, then looks away_)  
  
Dean: Hey, um, I'm sorry I didn't call...I just..I needed to see you.  
  
Rory: (_forcing a small smile_) Okay.  
  
Dean: Did you try to call me last night?  
  
Rory: Yeah...uh...Lindsay answered.  
  
Dean: Yeah...I'm sorry. I left my cell phone at home. When I got back, Lindsay said she saw your name on the caller ID.  
  
Rory: (_looking down_) Oh, I'm sorry.  
  
Dean: No, it's okay. We had a fight, and I told her I wanna get a divorce.  
  
Rory: Wow, what did she say?  
  
Dean: Well, she, uh...can I come in?  
  
Rory: (_avoids eye contact with him_) I'm not sure that's a good idea.  
  
Dean: (_reaching toward her_) Are you alright?  
  
Rory: (_pulling back from his touch_) Look, Dean, I dunno...we probably shouldn't see each other until you and Lindsay aren't together anymore. I mean, unless you're gonna stay with Lindsay, then we probably shouldn't see each other at all.  
  
Dean: I'm not gonna stay with Lindsay.  
  
Rory: Well, okay, but I just think it would be better if we stayed away from each other for awhile.  
  
Dean: (_upset_) But I wanna be with you.  
  
Rory: (_her eyes starting to get teary_) I know, but...  
  
Dean: Don't you wanna be with me? I thought...last night...you seemed like...well, I thought you felt the same way as me.  
  
Rory: Dean, last night was a mistake.  
  
Dean: (_upset and confused_) A mistake? So, it didn't mean anything to you?  
  
Rory: (_crying_) No, it meant something...I wouldn't have done it, if it didn't mean something...but...you're married.  
  
Dean: Yeah...but we're not happy.  
  
Rory: You're married.  
  
Dean: Rory?  
  
Rory: (_shutting the door_) Sorry, bye Dean.  
  
_Dean stands there dejected_.  
  
Fade to black.


	3. Act 2: Slapfights and High kicks

**(The afore-mentioned disclaimer applies to this act as well.)  
  
Act Two-Slapfights and High kicks  
**  
DRAGONFLY DINING ROOM--BREAKFAST

_Lorelai walks into the dining room and notices Jason eating breakfast at one of the tables. Her expression is one of disgust as she walks over to him.  
  
_Lorelai: (_arms crossed_) Jason.  
  
Jason: (_looks up smiling_) Lorelai, good morning. These eggs are amazing. Here try some. (raises a fork to her)  
  
_Lorelai sits down at the table_.  
  
Lorelai: (_motioning toward the living room_) Jason, did you stay in that chair the whole night?  
  
Jason: (_wiping his mouth with a napkin_) No, um...the French guy...Michel...He gave me your parents' room.  
  
_Lorelai rolls her eyes_.  
  
Lorelai: (_seriously_) You have to go.  
  
Jason: (_reaching out to put his hand on hers_) I'm not leaving here until we talk about "us".  
  
Lorelai: (_angry, not letting him touch her_) Jason, there is no "us". I told you that last night. There's a "you". There's a "me". And soon there will be a "you getting to know the wrong side of a rolling pin, courtesy of me," if you don't leave.  
  
Jason: (_pressing his luck yet again_) What exactly is the wrong side of a rolling pin?  
  
Lorelai: (_angry_) Jason, it's over. How many times have I told you that?  
  
Jason: (_okay, now he's just being an ass_) I believe it's about three or four times now.  
  
Lorelai: Then why don't you take a hint and get the hell _outta_ here.  
  
Jason: I told you that I don't give up that easily. Besides, we have something special.  
  
Lorelai: (_trying to be calm_) I'm sorry, but we're done. You have to accept that.  
  
Jason: (_pleading_) Lorelai, please, I know we can...  
  
Lorelai: (_blurting out_) I'm seeing someone else.  
  
Jason: What?  
  
Lorelai: I'm dating someone else.  
  
Jason: (_looks dejected_) Oh...when did this happen?  
  
Lorelai: Look, it's not really your business, but it started a week ago.  
  
Jason: (_looking slightly relieved_) A week? Well, you two can't be _that_ serious yet?  
  
_Lorelai gives him a look that shows her seriousness for Luke_.  
  
Jason: (_looks down_) Oh...well...that was fast.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking away_) No...actually, we've known each other for awhile.  
  
Jason: (_placing his napkin on the table_) Well, I guess I should go.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking down_) I think that's a good idea.  
  
Jason: (_standing up_) Bye, Lorelai.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing and then looking at him_) Bye, Jason.  
  
_Jason walks away, and Lorelai rubs her eyes. She then gets up and walks to the front hallway. She dials a number on her cell phone.  
  
_Rory: Hello?  
  
Lorelai: So, guess who almost had a _Fatal Attraction_ bathroom scene with Jason?  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Uh...Michel.  
  
Lorelai: No. (_smiling_) But that would have been funny...Actually, it was me.  
  
Rory: He's _still_ there? What did he do?  
  
Lorelai: Jason, was being, well Jason,...all persistent and pushy...until I...  
  
Rory: ...shot him in the bathtub!  
  
Lorelai: Close...but no cigar. I told him I was seeing someone else.  
  
Rory: (_quizzically_) Someone else? Oh, _Luke_...you never told me what happened with that whole thing...  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Well...lemme tell ya...you'll never guess what happened...  
  
Rory: (_laughing_) He kissed you!  
  
Lorelai: (_frowning_) Well...yeah...Way to steal a girl's thunder, kid..  
  
Rory: (_surprised_) What!?! Are you serious? I was just kidding! Luke _kissed_ you! Where?  
  
Lorelai: Well, on the _lips_, Larry Flint.  
  
Rory: (_with a grossed out expression on her face_) Eww, Mom...no, I meant where...as in... location?  
  
Lorelai: (_with that 'duh' expression on her face_) Oh...on the porch...here at the Dragonfly...last night...before...  
  
Rory: (_her face changes to a frown_) Oh, Mom...I'm sorry. You were coming home to tell me last night and I...  
  
Lorelai: (_with a tight smile_) It's alright...I gotta do some things around here before the guests check out. You comin for breakfast?  
  
Rory: No, but I'll be over later, okay?  
  
Lorelai: Alright, sweetie. Luv ya.  
  
Rory: Right back at ya. Bye.  
  
Lorelai: Bye.  
  
_Lorelai hangs up her cell phone, and then walks around the corner, not watching where she is going, and runs into Luke.  
  
_Lorelai: (_startled_) Oh...Hey.  
  
Luke: Hey.  
  
Lorelai: (_starts walking away from him, but still talking to him, expecting him to follow her_) So, uh, did you have breakfast? I hear the eggs are great. (_They enter the kitchen. No one's there but them_) Oh, by the way, thanks for going to get the eggs. You really didn't have to. (_She turns to face him and leans against the counter_.) I mean you're probably tired, right, from all that saving Kirk stuff. Oh, and how did you like your room? Was it...  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) Lorelai...  
  
Lorelai: What?  
  
Luke: You're babbling.  
  
Lorelai: (_looks out the window_) No, I'm not.  
  
Luke: Yes, you are.  
  
Lorelai: (_rolls her eyes and speaks nervously_) Okay yeah, I am...I just...I don't know, uh, what to say...(_smiling_)  
  
Luke: (_looking down_) You mean about last night?  
  
Lorelai: (_struggling to find words_) Yeah...its just...uh...  
  
Luke: (_stunned_) I can't believe this.  
  
Lorelai: (_confused_) What?  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) You're speechless. You can't talk. This belongs in the history books.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Ha Ha.  
  
Luke: (_changes the subject very obviously_) So, uh, I saw Jason leave. Didn't seem too happy...  
  
Lorelai: No, I don't think he'll be doing high kicks anytime soon....I told him we were over...yet again...I think it stuck this time.  
  
Luke: Really?  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, I don't expect to find a rabbit boiling in my kitchen.  
  
Luke: (_confused_) Huh?  
  
Lorelai: _Fatal Attraction_?...oh...nevermind...I so need to school you some more on movies...Bottom line, though...Jason's gone.  
  
Luke: (_relieved_) Well, good.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, good. So, um, about last night...  
  
_Sookie runs in the kitchen interrupting them, yet again.  
_  
Sookie: Lorelai...Michel needs you...I think he and Taylor are about to get into a slapfight over Taylor's comment cards.  
  
Lorelai: Oh cool...Fifty bucks says Michel tries to strangle Taylor with that cardigan. (_Sookie leaves. Lorelai turns to Luke._) We'll talk later. (_smiles at him_.)  
  
Luke: (_nods_) Yeah, okay.  
  
Fades to Black.


	4. Act 3: Mental Images and Chick Flicks

**(The afore-mentioned disclaimer applies to this act as well.)  
  
Act Three--Mental Images and Chick Flicks  
  
**LIVING ROOM OF THE DRAGONFLY

_Lorelai and Rory plop down on two of the chairs. They look exhausted_.  
  
Lorelai: (_rubbing her foot_) Okay, my dogs are barking so loud, people in Spain can hear them and are saying 'Shut up, you mutts, por favor'.  
  
Rory: (_sighing_) Yeah...you've been working so hard lately. But, I think it paid off...seems like the test run was a success.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, I'd say any venture of mine which results in spontaneous male nudity is pretty much a success.  
  
Rory: Even if it's Kirk?  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) At least, I only had to see him from behind. Poor Luke...(_laughing_) I can picture him trying to rescue Kirk with his eyes closed...(_looks at Rory mischievously_) But...you know he saw _the whole enchilada_.  
  
Rory: Eww..poor Luke...He'll be scarred for life...Hey, you _did_ burn Kirk's pillow, right?  
  
Lorelai: On my to-do list.  
  
Rory: (_her turn for the mischievous look_) So, speaking of Luke...how was it?  
  
Lorelai: How was what?  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) You know...  
  
Lorelai: (_faking indifference_) Oh, it was _okay_.  
  
Rory: You are so lying.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling)_ You're right....it was...uh...weird...but...um...really great.  
  
Rory: Really great? Like if you had to compare it to a movie kiss....  
  
Lorelai: Old movie or new movie?  
  
Rory: Let's just stick with new ones. Sadly, people don't kiss today like they used to in old movies.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling, maybe blushing a little_) Well, I don't know about _that_.  
  
Rory: (_shocked_) Are you kidding me? It was like an old movie kiss?  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Oh yeah.  
  
Rory: (_looks impressed_) Woah, way to go, Luke! Who knew there was a Casanova under all that plaid?  
  
Lorelai: Yeah...I can't believe it, you know, considering he didn't date much...and only had a couple relationships...I'm thinking he totally practices on the back of his hand.  
  
Rory: Gross, Mom...but a funny mental image...  
  
Lorelai: Thought you'd like it. So, hey, I was thinking if you wanted me to cancel my date with Luke tonight...so we could talk about, you know...That would be okay.  
  
Rory: No way! You gotta go see if second base with him is as good as first.  
  
Lorelai: (_play hits her_) Rory! Who says I'll let him get to second base?  
  
Rory: Mom, I'll be surprised if Luke doesn't hit a home run by your third date.  
  
Lorelai: (_embarrassed_) Rory...I'm not that easy. Maybe I'll play hard-to- get. Make him wait for, like, forever.  
  
Rory: Oh, please. You've been playing 'hard-to-get' with him for years.  
  
Lorelai: (_surprised_) Have not!  
  
Rory: Have to.  
  
Lorelai: (_pensively_) Okay...Maybe...a little...Anyway, how are you doing? Last night, was, uh...  
  
Rory: (_looking down_) Mom...I just...I think I need to figure this out on my own. I got myself into this mess...(_looking at Lorelai_) and I'm sorry about everything I said.  
  
Lorelai: It's okay. (_hesitantly_) Have you, um, talked to Dean?  
  
Rory: Yeah, he came by the house earlier.  
  
Lorelai: (_surprised_) He _did_?  
  
Rory: Nothing happened. I told him that we shouldn't see each other until, you know, the divorce, and then he left. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe I should go to Europe with Grandma.  
  
Lorelai: (_slightly upset_) Oh, why honey?...Look, you know you don't have to run away from this?  
  
Rory: I'm not. The trip'll give me time to think things through.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) Okay, I guess...if you're sure...(_reaching for Rory's hand_) But, I'll really miss you.  
  
Rory: I know...I'll miss you too.  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Well, you should probably call Emily and tell her the good news. I bet she'll be so happy that she'll do the 'cabbage patch'.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Ha! Another great mental image.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Oh yeah!  
  
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER

_Luke is wiping the counter. Kirk walks in with a group of people behind him.  
  
_Luke: Hey Kirk. Glad to see you dressed.  
  
Kirk: Yeah, me too. (_talking to the group of people and motioning toward Luke_) So, everyone, this is Luke. He's the courageous man who risked life and limb to rescue me from my terrible, life-threatening ordeal.  
  
Luke: (_agitated_) What the hell is this?  
  
Kirk: Oh, it's my tour.  
  
Luke: What_ tour_?  
  
Kirk: Well, I haven't settled on a name yet, but I'm considering something catchy like, 'Kirk's Krazy Night' or 'Running Through the Town Naked: Kirk's Story".  
  
Luke: Uh huh. So why am I a part of this?  
  
Kirk: Well, Luke you are my _her_o.  
  
Luke: (_annoyed_) Stop calling me that!  
  
Kirk: Uh, I think 'knight-in-shining armor' sounds a little effeminate coming from me.  
  
Luke: Don't call me anything. Just get out!  
  
Kirk: But...  
  
Luke: (_pointing toward the door_) Go!  
  
Kirk: (_halfway out the door_) All right. But, when the TV movie of the week people contact me, which actor do you want to play you? I'm thinking George Clooney.  
  
Luke: OUT!  
  
_Luke shakes his head. The diner phone then rings. He answers it. Scene shifts back and forth from the diner to the Dragonfly front desk during the conversation.  
_  
Luke: Luke's  
  
Lorelai: Lorelai's  
  
Luke: (_confused_) What?  
  
Lorelai: Oh, I thought we were being _all possessive_.  
  
Luke: (_still has no clue_) Huh?  
  
Lorelai: (_rolls her eyes_) Nevermind...so, sailor, we still on for tonight?  
  
Luke: Tonight...uh...yeah...the movie.  
  
Lorelai: Right...so I was thinking that we should probably go to Litchfield to see it.  
  
Luke: Why?  
  
Lorelai: Well, the library's having a double feature of _Steel Magnolias_ and _Terms of Endearment_, and somehow, I don't think you wanna watch two movies where the main characters are women who chit-chat about life, and then die tragic deaths.  
  
Luke: (_half smiling_) Hey, maybe I do. Maybe I have a feminine side.  
  
Lorelai: Shirley Maclaine, Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Debra Winger...  
  
Luke: And why are you saying these names?  
  
Lorelai: They're just the other women you'd be sharing your evening with.  
  
Luke: Litchfield it is.  
  
Lorelai: (_smilin_g) K...great. I'll meet you at the diner at seven.  
  
Luke: I could pick you up. I mean it is a date.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah..you _could_...but I want pie before we go.  
  
Luke: Hey, what're ya doin for dinner?  
  
Lorelai: I think Rory's inviting Lane over, and we're ordering Chinese.  
  
Luke: I could take you to dinner.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, you _could_ but...  
  
Luke: (_smiling_)...you feel like Chinese.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah...plus...I wanna spend some time with the Rormeister...you know...because of last night.  
  
Luke: (_nodding_) Okay. So, I'll see ya at seven?  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) Seven.  
  
Luke: Alright, bye.  
  
Lorelai: Bye Luke.  
  
_Lorelai hangs up the phone, smiles, then the scene fades to black._


	5. Act 4: Second Base and Apple Pie

**(The afore-mentioned disclaimer applies to this act as well.)  
  
Act Four--Second Base and Apple Pie  
**  
GILMORE HOUSE  
  
_The phone rings. We hear Lorelai's voice coming from upstairs_.  
  
Lorelai: (OS) Rory, can you get that?  
  
_Rory walks into the living room.  
_  
Rory: Sure. Hello?  
  
_Scene switches back and forth from Gilmore House to Senior Gilmore House_.  
  
Emily: Rory, Hello, its your grandmother. You called earlier.  
  
Rory: Oh...hi Grandma. Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about something.  
  
Emily: Well, go ahead.  
  
Rory: Are you still going to Europe?  
  
Emily: Yes, why are you interested in being my travel companion?  
  
Rory: Actually, yes. If it's okay with you.  
  
Emily: (_ecstatic_) Well, this is just wonderful. Oh, we are going to have so much fun. I will show you the best that Europe has to offer. We'll have a fabulous time!  
  
Rory: Grandma, you aren't dancing are you?  
  
Emily: (_confused_) No, why?  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Oh, nevermind.  
  
Emily: Well, then, I'll call you soon with all the details. Have a great evening.  
  
Rory: You too, Grandma. Okay. Bye.  
  
_Lorelai's voice is heard again from upstairs.  
_  
Lorelai: (OS) Who was that?  
  
Rory: Grandma.  
  
Lorelai: Did you tell her?  
  
Rory: Yeah, she sounded really happy.  
  
Lorelai: Cabbage-patching?  
  
Rory: No, but close I think.  
  
_The doorbell rings_.  
  
Rory: I'll get it. (_opens up the door. Lane is standing there_.) Hey, Lane.  
  
Lane: Hi, Rory. (_walks through the front door. Rory shuts it, then follows her into the living room_) So, where's your mom? Is she all dressed yet?

Rory: Oh, no way. She still doesn't know what to wear. That's why she called this emergency meeting.

Lane: Oh, well. What kinda look is she going for?

_Lorelai comes down the stairs and immediately chimes into the conversation_.

Lorelai: Well, this _is_ Luke. So I'm thinking simple, elegant, flannel...if possible...Hey, Lane.  
  
Lane: Hi Lorelai. Are you excited?  
  
Lorelai: (_trying to be nonchalant_) Please...I've known him for years. (_but can't hide her excitemen_t) Oh, yeah...and super nervous.  
  
Rory: Mom's gonna let him get to second base.  
  
Lorelai: Rory!  
  
Lane: Wow, then definitely go the ultra skanky route. (_She laughs_.)  
  
Lorelai: (_motioning for the girls to follow her_) Come on, girls--Food's gettin' cold and times awastin'...We gotta find an outfit that'll knock Luke's socks off....Or his pants...Either's good for me.  
  
CUT TO THE MIDDLE OF TOWN  
  
_Rory and Lane follow as Lorelai walks toward the diner_.  
  
Rory: Uh, Mom, tell me again why you didn't drive?  
  
Lorelai: (_stopping and turning toward Rory_) Because, oh child of mine, this way Luke gets to drive me home, and then I can ask him in for coffee.  
  
Lane: But Luke doesn't drink coffee.  
  
Lorelai: (_patting Lane's shoulder_) Oh, Lane...I have so much to teach you.  
  
Lane: Huh?  
  
Rory: (_to Lane_) You know, when you invite someone in for coffee, you don't normally just have coffee, it's to...make the date last longer...(_turning toward Lorelai and giving her a disapproving look_) usually for sex.  
  
Lorelai: I'm not gonna do it for sex!  
  
Rory: (_rolling her eyes and smiling at Lane_) Sure, Mom. So should Lane and I stay at her place tonight?  
  
Lorelai: Rory, seriously, I'm not gonna sleep with Luke tonight...I was just joking.  
  
Lane: Sure, Lorelai. Whatever you say.  
  
Lorelai: Lane! Read my lips. I...was...kidding.  
  
_Lane and Rory ignore this and start to walk away, talking loud enough for Lorelai to hear.  
  
_Rory: (_in a high pitched voice_) Oooo...Lane...I bet she lets _Luke_ read her lips.  
  
Lorelai: (_calling after them_) Hey, some respect. I am your mother.  
  
Rory: (_in that voice again_) Oooo...respect...hey, do you think Luke will respect her in the morning?  
  
Lorelai: (_yelling after them_) Bye, Devil children.  
  
_Lorelai takes a deep breath and walks into the diner. She looks around, but Luke's no where in sight.  
  
_Lorelai: (_calling out_) Uh, Luke, you here?  
  
Luke: (OS) I'll be there in a minute. Your pie's on the counter.  
  
Lorelai: (_sits down on a stool and makes a face_) Oh, that's okay...I think I ate all the food China has to offer.  
  
_Luke suddenly appears. He's dressed nicely, in black pants and a long sleeve dark blue button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, a la Luke. No hat, obviously...._  
  
Lorelai: (_a little taken aback_) Uh, wow...you look nice...two days in row, wearing something other than flannel. Must be some kind of record.  
  
Luke: (_looking down at his shirt, then up at her, saying a tad sarcastically_) Yeah, I marked it on my calendar for posterity. You look nice, too.  
  
Lorelai: Thanks. So, you ready?  
  
Luke: Yep.  
  
Lorelai: (_a little nervously_) So, hey I was thinkin...  
  
Luke: Oh no.  
  
Lorelai: (_playfully hits him_) Hey!...We never really talked about what happened last night.  
  
_Luke sits down on the stool next to hers_.  
  
Luke: (_looks down_) Right. Well, you've been busy.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighs_) Yes, I have...I'm thinkin the inn is just too much work...I might give it up and join the circus.  
  
Luke: (_half smiling_) You certainly would fit in with the circus folk.  
  
Lorelai: Yes...probably because I have a _third_...(_puts her hand in front of her m_outh)  
Ooo wait...too much info for a first date.  
  
_They both laugh.  
  
_Lorelai: (_shyly_) So...um...You kissed me.  
  
Luke: (_looking down_) Yeah, I know.  
  
Lorelai: And I kissed you.  
  
Luke: (_looking at her amused_) Yeah, I'm aware of that, too.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking down and then up at him_) This is all...just...so..I dunno...crazy.  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head_) Yeah...but it felt right, right? (searching her face for an answer)  
  
Lorelai: (_smiles_) Right.  
  
Luke: (_looking down_) Good...good...So you ready to go?  
  
Lorelai: Um...no.  
  
Luke: Why not?  
  
Lorelai: I think I want the pie now.  
  
Luke: I thought you ate all the food China has to offer.  
  
Lorelai: Yes, true...But now I must be patriotic...and eat all the food America has to offer...and what's more American than apple pie?  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) I'll get you some coffee. (_He gets up and walks behind the counter_.)  
  
Lorelai: Oooo...thanks.  
  
_Luke pours her a cup, and puts the coffee pot back. He then leans over the counter_.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) You know that stuff will kill ya?  
  
Lorelai: (_takes a sip and puts the cup down_) Wow...great sweet talk, Luke...you should write a book...(_gets a look of curiosity on her face_) oh, hey...about that 'book' thing you said last night....what did you....  
  
_Luke interrupts her by leaning over and kissing her. He pulls back just inches from her face. She smiles, and then they kiss again.  
_  
Fade to black. End Credits.  
  
**[There will be a sequel to this. So stay tuned!]**


End file.
